One of my favorite summertime hobbies is having a flower garden. Going outside to walk through my small garden after a busy workday is very soothing and relaxing. I enjoy pulling weeds, pruning, watering, fertilizing and looking closely at how each flower is growing, or what one may need to help it perk up or produce a flower.
Though each of those tasks do take time each week, pulling weeds is by far the most time consuming. It seems no matter how many weeds I may pull out there are always more springing up in different places. In some spots, old persistent plants that have seemingly endless root systems continually grow and I often go after it trying to get the final piece of root. Sometimes I have success, and other times I do not. Weeds can become a problem because if they are not removed they can take over the garden and choke out the plants.
Despite my efforts, my garden is not perfect, just like my marriage is not perfect. From afar, and to a noncritical eye, the garden looks amazing. It’s colorful and the flowers really blossomed this year. But underneath the surface, and upon close inspection, is where you find the imperfections. Marriages can have junk under the surface. It’s not always there, but there are things that happen in life and the junk tends to seep in. If not tended, these underlying weeds can grow and take over the garden of your marriage.
Recently while I was out in my garden I was thinking about how what I was doing – pulling weeds, pruning, watering, etc. – was similar to what Chris and I do in our marriage. We’re always working to remove the junk (and keep it out!) and improve as individuals and as a couple. We intend to treat each other better, pitch in to help each other, put the other first…but when busyness settles in sometimes we unintentionally do the opposite.
Just like a garden needs tending, so does a marriage. As a gardener would work several times a week to remove weeds from their garden, a couple striving for a healthy marriage should work together to remove any weeds (problems, disagreements) that appear. Staying on top of the problems keeps your marriage on track for success, and prevents those problems from snowballing into unnecessary tension that chokes your marriage.
It has taken research and trial and error to get my little flower garden to the stage it is at now. I had to learn about what growing zone we live in and watch the garden to see how much sun it gets during the day. I now know which perennials and annuals thrive in my garden. In your marriage, as time has gone by, there are things you have learned about your spouse and about yourself, and you have each grown and changed from the experiences in your lives. You have learned what things drive a wedge between the two of you and what things make the other happy. These are tools you now have in your marriage belt and you can use them on your path to a thriving marriage.
So what keeps the weeds out of your marriage? Sharing responsibilities? Regular dates? What chokes up your marriage? It’s probably the opposite of what keeps the weeds, like selfishness, out. Don’t let the little weeds get out of control and take over your marriage. Sow good seeds and watch your marriage blossom.
Matthew 13:22-23 – 22 “The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. 23 But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”
Beyond The I Do 